#15-A visit from Michael Stipe

“So. Central Rain” (as played cheesily on piano by some dude that has nothing to do with R.E.M.)

He came to me last night in a dream. On the phone. I don’t know why. R.E.M. were my all-time favorite band for a number of years. Not anymore, alas, although there’s always something on their records that will get me teary.

Loose Strife: Hi Michael – what’s up?
Michael Stipe: Not much. I’m shopping for a couch.
LS: Really – what are you looking for? A sectional? Convertible?
MS: Sectional---even if you want to sleep on them, they’re more comfortable than convertibles. Those things are dreadful.
LS: I know. I sleep on a futon convertible, which is much better than the mattress ones. But I’m thinking of going back to a regular bed. It’s like the last vestige of college. My vegetarian phase didn’t last long, but somehow I kept sleeping on a futon.
MS: I gave up vegetarianism too; in fact, I just had a rack of ribs over at Blue Smoke.
LS: You’re kidding!
MS: No, I’m not. It was excellent. I need the iron.
LS: I’m amazed.
MS: Oh, and if you’re buying a mattress, try 1-800-MATTRESS. I’ve used them; they’re really good.
LS: Thanks. So what else are you up to today?
MS: I’m thinking about getting my face tattooed, so I’m going to talk to a tattoo artist.
LS: Wow. With what? That blue-black paint mask you’ve been rocking at shows?
MS: Yes, exactly.
LS: Wow – extreme. Wouldn’t that…I dunno. Wouldn’t it be harder to shop for furniture that way? I mean, in terms of people recognizing you? Not that they don’t now, but…
MS: Shopping for furniture is overrated.
LS: You must miss Bill Berry in the band, huh?
MS: Desperately. I see his eyebrow in my dreams, floating about his old kit. The eyebrow is holding drumsticks---like a ghost from one of those old movies. Have you ever seen Besuch Aus Heiterem Himmel ? It’s a film about this rich piggish American in Germany who gets visited by these ghosts...

I wake up afraid I'm going to be late to the airport. But I'm not leaving for Berlin until Friday (more on that later) so I settle back in for another couple hours of sleep. Still thinking of Michael Stipe, who was my first true rock-star boy crush back when he had long hair. If I can get him back on the line, I’ll tell him the tattoo is a bad idea.